The strangest thing has been happening lately here at the ranch. The staff and guests have noticed the horses talking - not in horse talk, but human talk!! So we set up a tape recorder, and it was so interesting, we decided to transcribe the tapes here. We will update this page whenever they decide to give us their take on ranch life."

Send a message to any one or all of the Grapevine Horses.

PLEASE NOTE: If for any reason your message has not appeared we humbly ask that you send another message. We have a new system in place where multiple people get copies of the message. This will ensure all of your messages reach the horses. THANK YOU!

 

Tape 67: Recorded 16 April 2008

Skipper

“Hello, humans, this is the horses of Grapevine calling you….. and this is Skipper, your leader – What? Who said that?”

“I said ‘Says Who’ – and this is Comanche and I have the trumpet and I have had about enough out of you, Skip!  By rights I should be the head horse, because I belong to the head slave, and I should run the trumpet, I, Comanche!   My slave takes very good care of me, and she always says I’m the best horse, so there!  So I will run the trumpet today…..UGH!! Give it back!!”

“And no, I won’t, because your name isn’t Skipper, or not even Chief, it’s just plain ol’ Comanche! So I will run the trumpet today and quickly (before he grabs it back again!!) - we have a message from Cherokee from far away!   Hello, there, Cherokee, and you have to forgive these unseemly goings on here, really, some horses!!  But I see you want to talk to Koko – Koko, Koko, come here, Koko!”

‘Wow, Koko – this is Cherokee -  what a mess you had by jumping just a bit. My slave had been taking me into the woods last spring and summer to the jumping course. We do that so if we come across a log or something in the woods, we can clear it and he won't be afraid. Glad you are OK and of course Butch as well. I have raised enough money to send my slave back to your ranch and he will be there on his Birthday. So whatever appy he rides ... he is partial to them ... give him a good time. I have trained him well so he won't be afraid of anything. take care!”

Rojo

Alberta

Yukon

“Hello, Cherokee, this is Koko and yes, I did get a fright the other day, and now I won’t jump over anything, I won’t, I even look twice at logs.  It’s a very frightening life a horse leads, with holes like that waiting to swallow him!  But my friend Butch looks after me and now I am all right!  So are you sending your slave Don back to us, Cherokee – we will take good care of him – we have several spotty horses like me here now, what did you call that, an “appy” – what a funny name.  Comanche’s slave always says about me that I can’t make up my mind whether I’m an Appy or a Paint – I don’t know what either one means, but I do have spots on my rear and sort of splotches on my neck and today they were saying that I have grown very tall.  So we’ll look forward to your slave Don coming to visit us, Cherokee, and you take good care of yourself and always, always look before you jump!”

“Yes, that’s wise and I wish other little horses would learn that lesson, I do!! I should say that this is Rojo, and I have now become a baby sitter, if you please!!  They put me into the corral with two brats, they said that having me in there would make them more civi…civi…civilized, I think it was, whatever that is!  But I must say that specially the little he horse, they call him Yukon because he came from some part of the world like that (a funny name, isn’t it?) is a regular pistol. His corral mate is a filly and her name is Alberta, and Yukon has been really mean to her, so the slaves put me in here with them to teach them about being a horse, they said. What a funny thing – of course they’re horses, what else should they be, but I must say that the slaves were right, this Yukon especially is a very pushy  brat. He always runs Alberta off her feed and then for a few days he even tried it with me, so yesterday I’d had enough.  When the slave fed us, here came Yukon prancing up to me and tried to harass me ….. so I did what any self respecting horse would do - I stuck out my right hind leg and he ran right into it and got a good one!  He WAS surprised!! And I guess he thought it was an accident or something because he came right back, prancing up to me again, so I stuck my left hind leg out and whopped him another good one, and you should see him now! He has become very meek – it is actually very funny, he even lets Alberta push him around now, ha ha.  But you have to do that to these young ‘uns,- otherwise there’s no living with them! So now I can eat my dinner in peace without a hairy little snout poking in there trying to take my feed away!”

Chikala

“Hi there, Rojo, this is Comanche – FINALLY I get to say something!!!  and I saw what happened - that was just right – but it was ever so funny!! Yukon bounced off your hoof like a wet clump of mud, hee hee!  That will be good for him.  And I see that Peanut, who has been retired here, is now living with that other new horse, the big spotted one, what do they call him, Chikala? What a funny name – I heard my slave say it means “small” in some other way of speaking.  Anyway, little Peanut comes halfway up this Chikala’s belly, but he has him properly buffaloed!!  (I heard my slave say that – I think it means scared.)  So funny – Chikala is so big, but that little Peanut is ever so bossy, I remember hearing about him at the other corrals.  It is kind of entertaining to be here watching all this, I must say.  When Peanut was first retired here, he was turned out with the donkeys  until one day he came back from pasture and ate the head slave’s weeds that she had climbing up a wood thing by her corral gate and she was ever so mad!  So then she said that Peanut has to be a horse and stay with the horses and she put him in where he is now. And there is another piece of news, too – Old Mooney went to the sky.  Yes, she went to the sky, yesterday.  She was very old and hurting a lot and she told me some time ago that she wished the slaves would help her over.  So they did, yesterday – and I see that today there is a lot of wind and there are those white horses racing way up in the sky and I’m looking real hard to see Mooney there, young again and running free with them – no more pain, no more sore feet or sore knees, way to go, Mooney!!   Ah well … and look, here come the donkeys now for their dinner, so I guess it must be slave time again. What an agreeable life we horses lead here!! So this is Comanche, signing off for the horses (yes, I will, too, do it, Skip!!!) of Grapevine.   Heee Haw!!!”

 

 

Message To Your Favorite Horse

Someone (one of the wranglers I bet) let it slip that we were putting the horses comments on the internet and now they would like to receive some news from other humans. They don't get out much! If you are a former guest of Grapevine and would like to send a note to your favorite mount just leave a message below and we will make sure someone (Adam or one of the wranglers) read it to the horses. Not been a guest? Go ahead and leave a message to all of them I'm sure they will be happy to listen to all messages.

	Your Name:
	Horses' Name:
	Message Subject:
	Your Message:
		Enter Security Code:

 

Return to top

The last ten "Comments from the Corral" entries

---

Tape 66: Recorded 26 March 2008

Skipper

“So  hello there, humans, and this is Comanche and I …”

“Ah, no manners at all, just like Chief used to say!!!   This is Skipper, and I am the head horse here now, and so it is MY trumpet and I will talk first, and then, maybe, you, Comanche, can get a word in! Really, these horses!!  So, as I was saying, this is Skipper and first of all we have a very important trumpet here from….. let’s see, who is it again?  Ah yes… a human called Carla!”

“Hello, Paint Horses of Grapevine! I am planning my honeymoon and I am thinking of coming out to your ranch. My fiancé and I love horses (I own 4 Paints) and we have always wanted to work cows with horses. Are you up for that??? Cow camp might be just what we are looking for! And, any of you stallions out there may be able to give us some honeymoon advice... Hope to meet you next spring!”

Chikala with the colts

Comanche

Koko

“Hello, Carla, and how nice of you to think of us!  And so you haven’t been here before and you own four Paints!!  How amazing – now why would anyone want four Paints!!  I should think one is enough to cause all the trouble in the world, ha ha, are you listening, Comanche!!   Now, Carla, we have some Paints, let’s see – we have Sugar, she is a Paint, and then there is Faro at the other place, he’s not really a Paint, they call him a Pinto, I don’t know why, and of course, then we have Chikala, he’s the new one, he’s huge, huge and he’s also a Pinto … and how could I forget!  Comanche, he’s a Paint…. And so I know that Sugar is up for working cows, she’s always up for any trouble she can get into, and I must say that she is a good looking filly!!   Chikala is only new, and he isn’t being used yet, although he is so huge I’m sure he could do a day’s work!!  And Comanche, now, he’s special, he thinks, because only the head slave can ride him, she won’t let anyone else on him!!  What an idea is that, eh, eh?  She says it’s because they’re very close.  Very spoiled, I would say!!  And so I hope you do come and visit us – and what is all this about advice? Chikala could have given you some until about three weeks ago, they took him to the special place and now he’s a gelding, whatever that is!  Anyway, we hope to see you for Cow Camp and then you can ride Sugar and you can both have a good time, hee hee! And so here is another trumpet from, let me see!  Ah how terrible – we didn’t get this trumpet for ever so long and it’s from Cherokee, a special friend from far away. And so how are you, Cherokee?  Sorry we didn’t get to answer you sooner but as I said, this place is getting very disorganized, very disorganized!!’

“This is Cherokee talking, the master of the slave Don. It's been a year since my slave Don rode you at the Grapevine. We have been riding all year and have had to ride indoors for the past two months and he is too bored. I am trying to raise some money so he can get back there and enjoy those crow hops you gave him. Some day he may even buy a trailer and get me out there so we can ride all year outdoors. Take care from one appy to another.”

“Ah, Cherokee, this is Koko, you’ve never met me and that’ s because I am only young, they all call me young Koko, but I am very good horse, especially after what happened a couple of Sundays ago, oh, it was awful!! You would never believe what happened to us, Cherokee.  All the slaves went riding to exercise us horses, they said, and I had my friend Butch on me, and we went out along the fence at the place where Comanche lives, I was third in line.  The first slave went across this narrow little crack in the ground, quite narrow, but very deep, and the next horse, Mouse, sort of hesitated and then she jumped it I mean, why!! It’s only about as wide as two of my feet!! And so when it came my turn, because I was behind her, I thought I would jump too. And so I did, and then in mid-air I changed my mind and jumped to the left and oh, Cherokee, it was terrible!!  Never, never change your mind in the middle of doing something, it never leads to anything good, we horses should always think things through!! I jumped and I jumped over this big clump of bear grass and I found that behind it the little hole had widened out there and I fell right into it, only it was too narrow for me to fall to the ground and I got stuck in it by my saddle, and my neck was caught on the bank with my head turned around backwards, and my left back leg got hung up on the other side of the bank and I was caught there!! And my friend Butch who was on me got his leg caught in the stirrup against the bank also and we were stuck there and it was horrible!  And then the others all came running back and managed to turn my head back to where it belonged and got my leg off the bank but I was still hung up in the air, and then they moved Butch’s leg and he was making a lot of noise, he said it was going to break, but it didn’t and then they crawled under me and loosened the thing, the strap that holds the saddle on, I think they call it a cinch and that let me fall down on my feet and left the saddle stuck in sides of the hole.  I should say that they first hauled Butch out of there. And then I had to duck down and crawl out under a tree branch that was stuck across the hole as well, and I am a tall horse, but I did it.  And they said I was a very good horse because I didn’t panic and that if I had panicked I could have killed us both, whatever that is. It was a most awful experience, Cherokee, and so never, never jump sideways!!   I was a bit sore on that leg and limped for a bit and then the pain went away and they put the saddle back on and Butch got back on and we did the ride, but I am ever so careful now when I come to these holes, I never jump them, I put my head down and sniff them and then step across like a civilized horse.  But I have never seen a hole like that one, and all the slaves said they hadn’t either, so hidden!!  So that’s all for now, I am going over there to eat. It was good talking to you Cherokee!!”

“Sheesh, I thought he would never shut up!! This is Skipper again, and I heard the story from Mouse who was there and some of the other horses and it did sound like an awful thing to have happened. Still, a well behaved horse would never launch himself to the left like that, I must say, and I hope that it taught young Koko a lesson!! Anyway, I guess I should give the trumpet back to Comanche, I see he is over there chomping around he wants to say something so bad!! Here you are, Comanche – have at it!!”

“Finally – this is Comanche and I know that the thing with the hole is bad, I heard about that hole from Shanti.  Shanti had my slave on her about three weeks ago and they went through the gate, not far from that hole, and Shanti lost her temper and pitched a fit and caught my slave unawares and dumped her on the ground!!  And then Shanti went bucking across country – she said all the stuff fell out of those bags they put on the saddles – and she stopped short of that hole – she said it was nasty.  But first of all, it serves the slave right for riding dingbat horses like Shanti when she should be riding me, ME – her own special Paint!! – So now she is riding me again – the weather is nice and I’m looking forward to some fun outings.  So I guess that’s all – this is Comanche, signing off for the horses of Grapevine, hee haw!!” 

---

Tape 65: Recorded 15 February 2008

 

Skipper

“So hello there humans, and this is the horses of Grapevine calling and this is the new head horse, Skipper.   And so what is new around here – we’ve been having some very strange weather, a horse doesn’t know if he should shed off his hair or not! It’s been warm and then cold again – and the other day, we had some of that crunchy white stuff, well that was fun, we horses like it better cold than hot!!  And I see we have a trumpet here for – who is it again …. GIVE ME BACK THAT TRUMPET, CHIEF!  You said yourself last time that I was to run it.  GOOD!  So who is it for – oh for Belle!  Come here, Belle, you pretty filly, you have a message here from … let’s see… ah Tammi - and what does she say?”

“My beautiful Belle, oh how I miss riding with you. This is  Tammi and you are the most precious and gentle horse. We spent lots of time together didn't we? Much to the chagrin of Russ and Annie, who were patiently waiting for me to stop brushing you and take you home. What can I say? You took such wonderful care of me all day, so I wanted to repay the favor. I wanted to bring you home with me, but Adam threatened that my bill would go up lots! I cannot wait till we see each other again and have another magical ride through the amazing mountains.”

“Ah hello there, Tammi, this is Belle and how nice to hear from you.  And I wish you were here still, brushing me – you ought to see my coat now!  It’s all hairy and fuzzy because it’s been cold and it sure could do with a brushing.   But we horses have been having a good time lately, we have been turned out into that big area behind the corrals and we’re free to run and play there, and roll around in the mud, so fun!!  The head slave said that it was good for us to get out there and stomp down the ….I forget what they call it, but it’s a stickery sort of bushy weed and evidently the slaves don’t like it much because they want us to eat it when it first comes in early summer.  But I guess we didn’t eat it up and then it got all big and bushy and dried up so now they want us to stomp it down.  Well, I don’t mind – we’re running around there anyway and it’s kind of fun to run through it and scatter it everywhere.    And so how have you been, Tammi – are you riding other horses up there in your corrals??  It will be good to see you again and now I have to go, I see the horses are chasing something around and I have to go see what it is.  So this is Belle, heigh ho!!”

“Heigh ho – what a way is that to talk to a human, that’s something that manner-less Comanche always says, he’s from the other corrals, so what manners do they have over there, hrphm!  I should say that this is Skipper again, and I am not feeling very well today. I didn’t tell you, humans, but I have been having trouble with one of my eyes and it’s been very painful and I can’t see too well out of it,  Well, finally the humans decided to do something about it.  The head one here, he likes me, and we do lots of cow stuff together, so he came and put me into the long thing with wheels ……what? Who said that?”

“This is Comanche from the other place, and I said it’s called a “TRAILER”, you ignorant horse - “long thing with wheels”, I ask you!  My slave always teaches me the right words for things, so I  know that’s what it’s called. I really think that a horse that’s so ignorant that he ….”

“Oh shut up, Comanche - what do you know!  I’m the head horse here and I’ll call it whatever I like….. what was it again, a “trailer”?  All right then, just to shut you up, he took the trailer and put me in it and we went to a place far away and the human there said it is an “infection”, whatever that is,  and he gave me some medicine so it didn’t hurt and then he stuck my eye shut, he called it “sewed”!!  Yes!! And now I can’t see out of it at all, but it does feel better, I must say. And I am getting lots of stuff to take, they call it medicine, and ….. oh, look, here’s another trumpet! And who is this for now, I wonder?”

Casey

Casey: It was superb working with you on trail clearing. You are certainly special and incredibly attentive. The fact that you stopped fairly often and turned to see that I was doing fine and was still with you is one joyous memory. Another was that as we were clearing one of the mountain trails it started snowing and you and I were absolutely unified in our new white coverings. Stay well and as good as you are. It was an extreme pleasure. All the best, Steve 

“Oh, I see it’s for Casey! And it‘s from his human who was here some time ago and they went to the mountains. Casey!! Casey!! Come here, here’s a trumpet here for you from Steve!”

“Hi there, Skip – a trumpet from Steve?? How nice!  So hi there, Steve, and what are you doing with yourself now that you haven’t got me to carry you around?  Do you have to go walk yourself instead of riding on me??  That was a nice time we had together, specially when you got off me and moved rocks and stuff.  I liked standing under a tree and snoozing and calling it work.  That always amazes me when humans want to get off us and move rocks and things.  I suppose it does make the trail nicer for us later, so we are very grateful.  And now that you have gone back to your corrals, I am having some time off again – we run and play and roll in the mud, it’s ever so fun, as Belle would say.  The slaves grumble a bit and say they have to clean us off, but that’s all right, they don’t have anything else to do anyway!!  Not like us horses, we work hard and all they do is sit on us – so let them brush us, I say!!  So I need to go eat now, Steve, I see that finally they came around with dinner, really the service here lately isn’t what it used to be, at all!  So take care, and … all right, Skippy, here it is, I was just leaving!!”

“Thanks, Casey – it’s nice to deal with a mannerly horse, after all that rudeness I had from Comanche over there.  So this is Skipper – who said that!! Who said “one eyed Skipper”???   You wait, you horses, soon as my eye heals I’ll come sort you lot out!!  No respect at all!!  So again, this is Skipper, signing off for the horses of Grapevine…..   heigh ho … might as well say it as say anything else….. “

---

Tape 64: Recorded on 20 January 2008

Skipper

Hello, there humans, this is the horses of Grapevine calling and once again we’ve not been able to get to the speaking trumpet … the way this place is run is beyond belief!!  I must say that this is Chief, the head horse here at Grapevine….”

“Ah no, Chief, no more!!  You’ve been getting forgetful lately and for all we know, it’s YOU have lost the speaking trumpet that time, so I AM GOING to run it from now on, I, Skipper!! So give it here and I will bring the humans up to date.  So what’s new, humans? – well, quite a lot.  It’s been rather boring lately here, actually - we horses were all turned out of our nice corrals with the easy-to-get-to hay, turned out on the pasture so we had to forage for grass!!  What? What do you mean, it was fun?  Who said that?  Oh I see, it was Milly – well, of course it was fun for you, young’un – what do you know! – but I like my hay served to me daily by the slaves, all this running around the pasture having to pick at it is no fun at all,  Did you think it was fun, Chief?? Standing here next to me like that, you might as well say something!! Chief??”

“What? What?  Oh, yes, it was fun, all right, for about the first day or two.  We ran and ran and kicked up our heels and then – I don’t know, I guess the young ones enjoyed it, but I’m with you, Skip, I’d rather have my hay brought to me. So we stood around on the road and every time one of the slaves came by in their horseless carriages, we stayed in place – I remember the head slave making noises at me and I wouldn’t move, I mean, why should we move for some smelly horseless carriage, it’s an insult to the equine race, it is!! So, I remember she jumped out and ran at me, and then I had to move, I conceded. Hrmph!  Humans!  Anyway, we have a message – but why am I doing this… here, Skip, you wanted to run the trumpet, then do it, darn it!!”

Rio

“OK I will! So we have a trumpet here first of all for Rio .  Rio – here!! This is for you!”

“Hey Amigo …. Four times on the ranch (twice as you recall, just in November) and you are by far my favorite. As intuitive as we all know horses can be... you are just something else. As Adam taught me during our lesson, I had inadvertently been giving lots of miscues to lots of horses... LOTS. You were incredibly forgiving and did what I expected of you regardless of what I may have been telling you. Once I got my act together we were just about a force to be reckoned with! I barely needed to even touch the reins and you responded immediately and perfectly intuitively. The only time I ever had to reach for the reins was to pull you back in when the urge to take the lead the pack hit you. I could feel the urge to run well up in you time and time again... it's too bad they can't let you on the advanced rides... you're a runner at heart I can just feel it. Maybe one day my dear friend... one day when I've got a little more time in the saddle... we'll take off out across the flats together... consider this an I.O.U. my friend... and I ALWAYS make good on my marker. Riding you at the cowboy games almost seems like an unfair advantage... you managed to make even the "Brooklyn born Italian cowboy" look like a pro. Even when the time comes at the end of the day to unsaddle you and brush you down, there's that unspoken connection. I think I am now starting to understand that magic connection between a cowboy (try not to laugh too much when I refer to myself that way) and his horse. You take such good care of me out on the trails, I can't help but want to do the same at day's end for you. I miss you good buddy... Until our next ride... Vaya con dios!!! 

So hi there, Lou, this is your buddy Rio , and so glad you had a good time with me!!  And I would have shown you a good time, I would, if they had put us on the running ride!!  Because I’m very good at running, I am – I like to run.  I just take the bit and off I go. But they don’t put me on the running rides because of that, now isn’t that a shame!  But we’ll have a good time anyway, you know that it’s fun even at a walk or trot, eh amigo?   Not that I am a Mexican horse, that’s a word that Jose taught me, he came here from a place called Mexico . He said he likes it better here.  So anyway, so glad you called me, I don’t get many trumpets, because I don’t really get to ride with the visiting slaves all that much, somebody said I was too much horse. Well, and what else should I be if not a horse, eh, eh?  Humans have some funny ways about them, not two ways about that! So anyway, I see the hay slave is coming, so it’s best to get in there before some of the other pushy horses get the best of it. You take care of yourself, Lou and see you next time!!”

“Well, that was nice for Rio , he doesn’t get too many trumpets, but that’s because he’s so full of himself – I should say this is Skipper, the new head and trumpet horse – and so who is next?  I see there is a trumpet here for Peanut. Peanut, Peanut, where are you???”

Peanut

“Hey Peanut, my darling! This is Lena, the girl from Germany . I was in October 2006 at the Ranch. I hope you remember! I had a great time there and enjoyed the rides with you. You are the nicest and most beautiful horse I have ever seen! Since I had left Arizona , I wanted to return to the ranch to cross the Plains on your back again. But now I read on the web site that you're a retiree already. Of course it's sad, but I'm sure you enjoy this relaxed life. So if I come back to this great ranch, I will have a look at you and hug you. I hope we will meet as soon as possible. I love and miss you. Best regards. Lena .” 

“So this is Peanut – and who wants me?? I’m a very busy horse, I have lots and lots to do now that I’m retired.  I walk around….. who? Oh, Lena !!  Ah yes, you were here when I was still a working horse!!   And so how are you, Lena ? And when you come back, you just ask them to get me, I’ll be happy to take you for a ride, after all I’m not so retired that I can’t have fun with friends!  But it’s nice, this retired life. I spent the first few weeks with the two donkey gals, Katie and Sarah, only they want to be called Miss Katie and Miss Sarah, now how puffed up is that! What if I wanted to be called MR. Peanut!!  Wouldn’t that be ridiculous, but there you are, it may be those long ears that make them think they're so special. Anyway, as I was saying, I was turned out with them and with the three other retired mares, but then the slave here said that I was being mean to them and chased them around. Well, and why not? I ask you!  I was bored, being without work so suddenly, you might say. So then I went over to the head slave’s corral one day and I saw there some nice green things coming out of a sort of pot and they looked tasty, so I ate them. She wasn’t very pleased, I heard all about it later, and so then they put me into a big corral next to Shanti and Monkey – well actually his real name is Sundance, but they call him Monkey for short. I must say that Monkey suits him better than Sundance, it fits his character, you might say, the monkey bit. Anyway, I am next door to them and it’s a good life.  I eat and sleep and drink a bit of water and then go talk to those two, and then sleep some more,. It’s a better life than I expected to have when I lived in Mexico , this retirement!! So Lena , it was good to hear from you and I must go and eat a bit again – I see they put some fresh hay in there. I don’t like the old hay, I pitch it out on the ground and then I pee on it, so they know I’m not going to eat it,. After all, when you’re retired, you should get nothing but the best!! So goodbye for now, and remember, when you come back, we have a date!! So this is Peanut, from the horse retirement place at Grapevine!”

“Good heavens, I thought he would never shut up!  I don’t think Peanut needs to be retired, I think he needs a muzzle!  This is Skipper again – and I feel sorry for the horses over there if they have to listen to him all day and night!  And if I were the slaves, I would make him eat that pee’d on hay, so there – what a waste of good food! Some horses have no consideration, but there you are, Peanut has always been spoiled by the head slave here, who used to give him goodies when he was still working. It’s a wonder he didn’t take the rides with his head swivelled back, begging for more goodies!  So anyway, this is Skipper signing off for the horses of Grapevine, hee haw!!  Is that how you do it, Chief?”

“I guess that’s good enough, Skip – I did it with more style, of course, but then that was ME – let me show you how…… SO THIS IS CHIEF SIGNING OFF FOR THE HORSES OF GRAPEVINE … HEE HAW!!  See? Much more tune and finesse!!”

---

Tape 63: Recorded on 1 December 2007

“Hello there humans, this is the horses of Grapevine calling and this is the slave’s favorite horse, Comanche…. And I see we have a trumpet here for Nemo!! Nemo, Nemo, come here where are you, Nemo…?”

“For heaven’s sake, where should he be, he’s over at the feeder like a respectable horse, that’s where he is…. I should say that this is Chief, over at the other corrals, and I don’t know how it happened that Comanche got the trumpet ahead of me!! It’s MY job, after all, to run the trumpets around here!   How did you get it Comanche….. ah, no point in asking, he’ll only give me some rubbish.  I don’t know about the horses today, they have no manners, no manners at all. Now when I was a young horse …. But just a minute, let me see, there is a trumpet here…. Now who is it for?? Ah yes, Nemo.  Nemo, Nemo….. oh, I see you’re right here already!”

“Well, of course, I’m right here, a horse would have to be deaf not to hear all this ruckus, first of all Comanche yelling his head off about a trumpet and then you….. so here I am, so now what is it?”

“Hello Nemo, thanks for your message. This is Maureen calling you back.   Great to hear from you. It suddenly feels like November here on the tip of Cape Cod. It's so different here as compared to where you live. We are near the Ocean. I don't suppose you have ever seen the Ocean, where all sorts of critters like whales and dolphins and seals live. Thing is, humans can't ride these critters like horses. Well maybe one of the wranglers can show you a picture of these critters. We live about a mile from the Ocean here in Truro. I volunteer for the Cape Cod Marine Mammal Stranding Network, and help to keep an eye on some of these critters that go astray, and end up on the beach instead of in the water. Yesterday I was called out to monitor a beached Grey Seal. I checked it out and determined it wasn't sick or wounded - just plumb worn out probably from last week's hurricane. I put a sign up to warn people on the beach not to go too close, as the seal needed to rest and not be bothered by humans and dogs. Well I was happy to see that she had returned to the ocean when I checked again early this morning. I must say Nemo , I think the horses at Grapevine have it pretty cushy - oh I know you all work hard on those trail rides - but those wranglers make sure you get your chow everyday! These poor Ocean critters have to works so hard to catch fish. I bet you wouldn't like to taste fish! Well I hope all the horses and humans at the ranch have a fine Thanksgiving! Peter and I have so many nice memories from our trip to Arizona and especially of the ranch. Happy trails!”

Nemo

“Hello, there, Maureen, this is Nemo and it is good to hear from you, even though I must say I don’t understand much of all that. What do you mean, there are critters in the water?  Well, we have critters in the water here, too, but nobody could ride on them, they  are ever so small.  And we don’t get much water around here anyway, only when it rains and it doesn’t do that too much.  The other day one of the humans came to our big corral and he wanted to clean out the water bucket thing because it had emptied in the night. So he brought a stick with him with a sort of thing on the end and he started to scrape and scrape and guess what, Maureen, he made a big hole in the water bucket, and the head slave here was ever so mad, because then they had to go and get another water bucket for us to drink from. But the humans get excited about every little thing, don’t they, Maureen?  Do you get excited about little things, too – we horses only pretend to get excited, just to enjoy life a bit and take the humans down a peg or two.   There is a big pretty mare at the other corrals who really likes to wind up her human, she does!  She was telling me it’s ever so much fun to spook at things and spin around and

pretend she’s scared of things she’s seen a hundred times, and her slave gets all mad at her, and she thinks that’s ever so funny!!  But today her slave had had enough – she put her – I should say her name is Dollie – into the round pen and got her to run around and around, to take the ginger out of her, she said – I wonder what that is, can you eat it? Why would she want to take it out of her - where is it in her??  Anyway,  Dollie said it was a lot of fun at first, she kicked up her heels and ran so fast she almost fell into the middle of the round pen, hee hee.   But then when it was all over, she said she was happy enough to go on the ride and behave herself.  Ah well – I guess Dollie doesn’t get as much work as we do around here, or she wouldn’t be so silly!!   So now I am going to go and eat a bit – I am a hungry horse, I am, and have to keep my strength up!!  So nice to talk with you, Maureen and I hope you will come again and see me and we can ride together.  Ah, yes, and here comes Chief again, all important, I guess he wants the trumpet back.  Here it is, Chiefy – I am done with it!!”

“Well, and I hope so, too, you’re done with it.  You’ve gossiped here long enough, you’ll be boring the humans. Hrmph!!!   I see now he’s gone to eat…. Does he ever do anything else, I wonder?   But on second thoughts, that’s new hay in the feeder, so I think I’d best go too, before it’s all picked over and only the dry bits left.  So take care, Human …. What’s her name again?  Oh, I AM getting forgetful – ah yes, Maureen - take care, Maureen, look after all those critters you have there, whatever they are…. and I am going to the feeder. So this is Chief, signing off for the horses of Grapevine.  Hey ho!!”

---

Tape 62: Recorded on 8 November 2007

Rio

Aah s-o-o, hello humans, this is the horses of Grapevine calling, and this is, you won’t believe it, but this is Rio – and I have actually got a-hold of the speaking trumpet this time ahead of old Chief, who always pushes his way in here first!! S-o-o – let’s see – we have three trumpets here, and the first one is – well, what do you know!! It’s for ME!! And it’s from my fan Marilyn, and how nice is that, Marilyn. And you are the first, the very first human to trumpet me, and you would think that others would have done it already, but no, you are the first. So how are you Marilyn? And what did you say?”

Typical scenery on a trail ride.

“Well, now I know I should always pay attention when on horse back, then you are ready for the unexpected and don't fall off. My lesson from Dan the Man drove that home. Well Rio, it was great to spend time with you again just drifting round the canyons and hills looking at the birds and wildlife in the sun, but boy was it hot our day ride down to the village. Now I'm back here in the cold of England, hoping we can visit again next year. Dai and I got great pictures again will have to e-mail some into the ranch. Just behave, don’t go rolling in the ---- after you have been groomed.”

“Hey, Marilyn, we had a good time together didn’t we?  And it sure was hot that day, but you should be here now,  the weather is getting cooler and we horses like that, all the nasty flies have gone … But anyway, at least when you were here it was nice and green and we horses could get a mouthful now and then. But I do wonder about those flies -  I wonder where do they go when it gets cold, do you know, Bubbles?”

“No, I don’t know, Rio, and so who cares anyway, nasty flies, all they do is irritate us horses, I’m so glad it’s getting to be cooler weather, look how nice my coat looks, look Rio, isn’t it nice, all fluffy and shiny…”

“Oh for heaven’s sake, give me that trumpet, DO!!!  This is Chief, and there is no end to how you horses can bore humans when you get a hold of it. Give it here, I say!  Yes… that’s better.  So, humans, this is Chief, the main horse here at the Grapevine and I see we have trumpets here from … what? You already did that Rio? Well, and how rude is that! You know it’s MY job!  But OK – since you did it …. And it was a trumpet from that nice human, Marilyn.  So you did answer it? OK – here’s the next one, and who is it from – ah it’s from Ruth and just look, it is for Bubbles!  Come here you silly filly, this is actually for you! Stop preening around fluffing up your coat, we all get winter coats, you aren’t the only one, and come get the message from your human!”

“Bubbles, this is Ruth, and thank you for being such a fun horse. I had a brilliant time doing the advanced rides with you, and it was a pleasure to ride such a willing mare. The staff couldn’t have chosen a better horse for me. Back home now and all the other horses seem much quieter and lazier. So thank you for looking after me on my honeymoon.”

“This is Bubbles, and give it here, Chief!! This is MY trumpet!  So as I said, Ruth, this is Bubbles, and I did have a good time with you!!  And I wish you were here now to see my nice new coat … you would like it so much too, Ruth, it’s all shiny and red….”

“Oh for heaven’s sake, do we have to listen to all this drivel?? This is Chief, and I can  hardly believe my ears!  That trumpet isn’t even for you, Bubbles it’s for Nemo.  Nemo, Nemo, come here, here’s a trumpet for you from Maureen and silly Bubbles thinks it for her!!  Hee hee ... here you are Nemo!”

“And it was SO for ME – this is Bubbles and that trumpet was from Ruth and I think you’re all hateful and I am going back to my end of the corral and eat.  And Chief, you don’t know everything, you don’t, and you messed this all up and I am leaving, so there!”

Nemo

“Really, the young generation have no manners at all, at all!!  This is Chief, and I am much older than you, my little filly, and … maybe I did get this a bit mixed up at that,  but anyway, this is for Nemo from Maureen.”

“Nemo, thanks for carrying me on those three great trail rides. This is Maureen. I suspect that after I took a lesson with Adam, you thought I had become a good deal smarter! I hope you are feeling better, because I think you had a tummy ache on our last ride. I know I was supposed to switch you to make you go- but I couldn’t do it. Guess I am just a pushover for a handsome horse like you! Peter says hello to Buckshot, a.k.a. Elvis. We really loved the ranch. Please give our regards to Adam, Butch, Punk and Al. Happy Trails

“Hello Maureen, this is Nemo and thank you, I am feeling much better, it must have been something I ate!!  And thanks for the message for Buckshot – he’s on a ride right now, but I’ll tell him.  So glad you had a good time … and look at Bubbles, she’s all sad now that this trumpet wasn’t for her as well!! Bubbles – come here, you silly filly, they can’t all be for you!  I haven’t had a trumpet for ever so long and I am so glad to hear from my friend Maureen! Anyway, Maureen, glad you feel you got better after the lesson, I thought you were fine even before! And I will give pass on your hellos to Butch and all the others!!  So take care and come back, it was fun carrying you around, you were nice and kind.  And so this is Nemo…”

“Ah no, you don’t – this is Chief and it’s MY job to sign off, so … Oh, I do have a headache, with all these horses pushing and shoving. There is no discipline in this corral at all!  Anyway, humans, this is Chief signing off for the horses of Grapevine, and I am going over to stand in the corner and have a little snooze – maybe my headache will go away when I get a bit of peace and quiet!  Hey ho!!”

---

Tape 61: Recorded on 16 October 2007

Tequila Eating . . .

"Hello there humans, this is the horses of Grapevine… Oh, I AM tired of saying that!  Of course, you all know who this is calling you, this is Comanche, and I think it is very tiring to have to keep repeating the same stuff all the time, all the time, don’t you  think so, Tequila?? Tequila???"

“Wha-a-t?  I’m busy, can’t you see, what was that you said, Comanche? That it’s boring repeating stuff all the time?  Well, and how do you think the humans must feel when they’re trying to teach colts, eh, eh?  Talk about repeating stuff all the time, I don’t think you ought to complain, Comanche, I don’t – I bet the slave had to repeat things to you forever when you first came here – all wet behind the ears yet!  Anyway, let’s see, we have a trumpet here, don’t we?? So where is it, where did you put it?”

“Oh, he didn’t put it anywhere, it was here all the time!  This is Chief at the other place, and it’s no wonder you horses over there can’t even keep your trumpets straight!!  Now, we over here are hardworking horses and we know what’s what, and anyway here is the trumpet – let’s see who is it from?   It’s from Graeme…and for Biggins..  Biggins, Biggins, come here, boy, you have a trumpet from your old pal Graeme…“

Chiricahua Ride

“Hello Biggins. Hope you are well and continuing to enjoy life at Grapevine. We had a wonderful time while we there and I felt privileged to be able to ride out with you, especially as you were the most advanced horse I rode while I was there. When we did the Chiricahua ride I was a bit nervous, especially when I was 7,000 ft up! You did very well by me though and looked after me wonderfully, so thank you! We miss the ranch dearly and we hope to be back to see you and your friends very soon.”

Hello there, Graeme, this is Biggins, and so glad you had a good time here, and do you know what, Graeme, it is beginning to get a little cooler here now, and we horses like that ever so much!  All the flies go away to wherever flies go when they’re not bothering us, and the grass has turned a lovely yellow color … though it doesn’t taste as good, I must say, but it does look nice.  Now the humans don’t think we horses notice things like that, but we do, we like things to look nice. But in the cooler weather it’s more fun for us to go out and ride, too, we don’t like the hot days much, so we reckon the good times are coming now.  That’s one of the fun things about that ride we took together, the one that goes so high to the place with the big, scraggly rocks – I like that one, it’s always cool there, even in the middle of summer.  And so do you have a special horse where you are, Graeme – I’m glad you think about us over here.  Some of our humans who come here do have horses at home, and we often send them messages, now there is one we talk to often, his name is Cherokee.  I don’t know exactly where his pasture is, but he’s fun to talk to …. In fact, I think we have a trumpet here from him right now, don’t we, Chief??”

“Yes, we do, and if you ever stopped yammering for long enough we might be able to hear it, Biggins.  Here it is, and it’s for Joey.”

“My slave Don was on my back today and we rode the blazes here in Old Ohio in 91 degree weather. He and I took a shower together and boy did that feel good. Joey, don't tell his partner Cathy that he and I are working on a deal that will send him back to your ranch next February. It's almost too cold here so I don't mind sharing him with you. From one Appy to another. We are brothers you know. Keep you posted as far as our progress. Stay well.....Cherokee”

“This is Joey, Cherokee, and how nice to hear from you again!  It does sound as if you have a good time there, and I know what you mean about having to stick together, us Appys, I mean!  I’m the only one here … well no, that’s not exactly right, there’s Biggins too, I guess he is one as well, I see he’s making faces at me from over there….but we are special horses, what with the nice spots and all.  I heard one wise old horse tell a story once that us horses with the spots were very liked by some of the old humans who rode us into battle – I imagine that a horse with spots like that would be less visible, eh, do you think, Cherokee?  I know that Comanche from over the other place is always boasting how his spotty hide wouldn’t be seen from a distance, hrmph!  But he isn’t an Apply, he’s just an old Paint – isn’t that right, Chief?”

”Hey, hey, just a little minute there, Spotty yourself – this is Comanche, and I’ll have you know that I am NOT an “old Paint”, but a very superior Paint, with lots of nice markings and good conformation - but actually, I don’t think I can be bothered to argue with you horses from over there. You have very little sense and no manners, so I’ll just go over and see what the slave has put into the feeder.  The grass isn’t so good any more and so we horses decided to come into the smaller pasture where the good feed is dished out – had enough of all that scarping all over the place looking for the good bits!  So this is Comanche …..”

 “Hey, hold it, hold it!!  Not so fast, Spot!  This is Scotty and I am over at the other place from you and it is totally hateful here!  The slave said I was too fat and had no manners, so I am locked up here in a small pen with hardly anything to eat, and I’m taken out every day or so and tied up to that awful piece of wood and let stand there for hours – the slave who’s here said that I have to learn to stand tied. He didn’t like it when I untied every knot, and so he tied me to the railing around the arena and when I couldn’t untie it, I lifted it over the top, hee hee, and got away.  But he didn’t think it was funny, and now I have to stand here for hours learning to be patient, he said. I wish my slave would rescue me and take me home….”

“Well, young Scotty, maybe if you stopped standing on your hind legs when she rides you, she might take you back home – I should say this is Tequila from over the cattle place – but a horse who stands on his hind legs every time he doesn’t like something is no fun for anyone.  And you would think you would have learned from the time you slipped in the mud and fell, and fell on top of her to boot – now that was a very stupid thing to do,that was!  Now, I would NEVER think of doing something like that, and I know Comanche takes good care of her, she is a good slave, and you are a brat…. but there you are. We hope that you will learn that you are a horse and behave yourself when you do come home. But anyway, this is Tequila and we’ve done enough blathering for a while, so this is the horses of Grapevine saying Heigh Ho, we’ll talk to you soon….. and, Comanche, I AM NOT tired of saying the same thing all the time, see!!!  It comes with the territory of being a special Grapevine horse…..”

---

Tape 60: Recorded on 18 September 2007

 

Tape 22: Recorded on 11/6/2004

    “Hi there, humans!!! This is the horses of Grapevine calling ..... this is Buggsie, you know, that handsome white Arab, so elegant, we Arabs are, don’t you think? My special wrangler, Dan, who just loves me, says I am! Anyway, here’s what happened to me, you won’t want to believe it....  

(Click here if you want to go straight to Buggsie’s Incredible Adventure") 

    “No, no, Buggsie, first of all, this is Bubbles, the beautiful little filly.... I have to talk to my riders first, and you can have your say later. I agree that your adventure was really something, in fact, it made us all quite envious at first....
    Anyway, it’s so nice, we are getting ever so many more letters from all of you, it really makes our life so much more exciting to be able to talk to you, some of our favorite riders!!”
    “Oh sure, Bubbles, we all know you think you’re the star of the show here, but I’m first! The first letter is to me, so I’ll answer first, if you don’t mind, little filly! This is Nimo, and I want to answer Sarah, who was here with Randy. It was actually Randy I palled up with, but I’m glad Sarah is writing all the same - I guess Randy is too busy being out there making sure they all get enough hay to eat.”

    “Hey Nimo. My husband Randy is looking forward to riding you on the lope runs and through the Chiricahua on the day trip. Please hide in the field from Adam or fake sickness and don't let him assign you to any other guest during the period of December 3rd to 8th.”

     “Hi Sarah, - it will sure be nice meeting you both and I will enjoy the trip to the Chiricahuas with Randy. I always think that’s the best outing for us all, riders and horses. So cool, what with the tall trees and that nice rustling with the breeze blowing through them....”
    “Oh for heaven’s sake, Nimo! A poet, yet - just answer the letter, there‘s a lot we have to tell the people, and I’ve had a much better adventure than any of you..... this is Buggsie again, and I have ever so much to tell you all, if I ever get a word in, by the time all these other horses have done with their fans....”
    “Okay, Buggsie, we'll hurry, I guess you did have quite an adventure at that! Anyway, as I was saying, it was nice meeting you and Randy and I look forward to seeing you both again, so hurry back! I’ll try to hide, but you know, that’s not easy out here - they have eyes like wild horses, those wranglers, when they want one of us! But December isn’t too far off, so I’ll be sure to be waiting for you and we’ll enjoy ourselves. Here’s Bubbles again, I guess I’ll have to give her the speaking trumpet, after all, she also had a message ... here you are then Bubs....”
    “Hi, folks, this is Bubbles .... wait a minute till I just flip the hair out of my eyes! Okay, cool - So who’s that for me?”

    “Hey Bubbles, this is Sarah! I miss you very much. I am looking forward to when I will see you on December 3rd. Please make sure Adam doesn't let any other guest ride you in
the days before I get there.”

    “Oh hi, Sarah!! SO nice to hear from you! It’s always a pleasure to talk to some of my fan club!! I know I’m kind of special around here, I’m so little and dainty, all of my riders really enjoy riding me - and I try to be good to them, too, although I did hear the wranglers tell the riders they have to know what they’re doing with me, because I’m so young. Well - it’s not only that! I’m quite smart enough to know my job, thank you very much! It’s just that I get a little scared at times, after all, there’s all kinds of horse-eating rocks out there and what have you, so my riders have to be on their toes, in case I jump a little! But you did well, Sarah, and you’re so light handed and all, it was a pleasure to be with you. As Nimo said, it’s not always easy to hide when they come and get you out for work, but I don’t get too many riders, you know, I guess they all can’t handle a horse of spirit, so I’m sure to be rested when you get here, and we’ll have some fun! So take care in the meantime, Sarah, and see you soon!! Here‘s Sundance has somebody writing to him - what fun to get all these letters. Here you are Sundance, here’s you rider....!”

    “Hey Sun Dance! Hope you're doing well, still sneaking off to the back of the trail to get some extra eating time! You were great fun to ride and looked after me well. Many thanks and hope to see you soon. Phil.”

    “Well, Hi there, Phil boy, so good to hear from you!! Hang on a minute till I get my head out of this hay feeder, I can’t talk too well with my mouth full, but you know, around here a horse has to look out to get the best of the hay when they put it in, there’s all these other greedy....”
    “Oh give us a break, Sundance! This is Nimo. If you got any more to eat, you’d burst. Look at you, you're like a stuffed sausage, for heaven’s sake! I’ve never seen.....”
    “Oh shut up, Nimo - look who’s talking! You’re no skinny yourself! As I was saying, Phil, now I've got my mouth empty, I can talk. I’m glad you recognized that I had to get to the back of the line to get some of that delicious grass! You know, green grass is at a premium here, we only get it when it’s rained and that’s not all that often, so thanks for letting me get a bite now and then. Those mean wranglers, they’re always telling the riders not to let us eat. Hurrmph!! I’d like to see how they would do if they were walking through places full of goodies they like! and couldn't take a bite! Anyway, Phil, it was great to be with you and to find such an understanding rider - we did have fun, didn't we? I hope you come back soon - maybe when the grass is green again? so we can eat some more together? But here’s Buggsie again, he has an adventure to tell you all, he’s just bursting at the seams with his importance! Here you are, Buggs!”

“Hi everyone, this is Buggsie, again - I thought I’d never get to tell you what all happened to me! The most unbelievable adventure! The other day the humans came and took two of us horses from here and two from the other corral - it was me and Peanuts from here, and Comanche and Tequila from the other place and we went to a new place, across the valley, to a canyon where even Comanche hadn’t been before, and he travels quite a lot with his slave. Halfway there we picked up another horse, a pretty little mare called Peppy and her human. We had a nice ride, way up into the mountains, along a trail high-up, with lots of trees. For lunch we stopped on a sunny grassy clearing and the humans all sat and ate, and let us horses graze the grass. It was nice and peaceful. And I thought, what a lovely place to live, all this grass and tall trees, with the breeze blowing through the branches, so quiet.
    Peanut spent most of his time begging for people-food, kept getting in all their faces - he always thinks what humans have is better than what he has, so they all laughed and kept pushing him away. Peanut thinks he’s a human himself. Anyway, after a while we all rode down the mountain again and came to the long thing with wheels, they call it a trailer. The humans all got off, and stood around talking, and let us horses just graze. Usually they leave the lead ropes down, but this time they tucked them up into the saddle horns so they didn't drag. That was nice, we didn’t keep stepping on them, and it let us graze fresh grass all the time.
    After a while this gave me a good idea. Why not, I thought, just stay in this lovely canyon? No more being dragged out to ride with different visiting humans, just be nice and free here with that fresh green grass and tall shady trees, what a life! I ran the idea past some of the others, and they thought it sounded good, so we began to drift away from the humans just a bit. Then we got a little distance away, we began to walk and they noticed. “Look at those darn horses”, one of them said. “Comanche!” she yelled, “Whoa!” but I said to him, “Don’t listen, let’s just go, Don't you want to be free?”
    So he went, we all went. The humans began to walk after us, but we kept on walking a bit faster and we heard them grumbling. They don’t like to walk, I guess, that’s why they have us, as Comanche’s human always says. Anyway, they sure had to walk then. So we went a little faster, and we got behind a bend on a nice grassy pasture. The others all stopped - they said: “The trailer is behind us, we have to get back! After all, dinner time is coming and we want our nice hay!” But I said “Don’t you want to be free like some of the horses we hear about?” and as I heard the humans coming I took off at a lope and then a gallop. I went through a little canyon and dodged into a deeper one, among trees, and sort of hid. I heard the other horses behind me saying I was being silly, but I stayed there, just peeking out to see what would happen next. It was kind of exciting!
    Well, the humans got there and caught up with the others - it couldn't have been more than a few heartbeats, I did have to hustle to get hidden, I tell you! And then Peppy’s human jumped on her back as Peppy still had that thing on her head that has the mouth bit in, and they took off at a gallop on top of a high mountain slope to see if they could see me. But I hunkered down into my bushes and they missed me. Comanche's slave caught him and got on him, but he only had a lead rope on and he became all excited, so she rode back to the trailer and got his bit thing and brought the other ones back as well, so then they were all on their horses, and began looking for me.
    It was fun, I tell you!! They went up hill and down dale, but I drifted further and further away, and even though I’m all white, they didn't see me. After about two or three hours they said it was getting dark and they went back to the trailer and left. Ha! Success!!! Here I was, a free horse!
    I planned my life. No more being bothered by humans, having to lump them around and put up with “do this, do that”! I thought I would miss my special wrangler Dan, my friend, but heck, something’s got to give! Freedom seemed worth it. Lots of grass, and there was that big water tank I remembered seeing on the way back, so I knew I had it made.
    I spent the first night very pleasantly. The thing on my back, the saddle they call it, was still there, and the bit thing was hanging off it, and I had that hateful halter affair on my nose, but it wasn’t tied too well and I was confident I could shake it off. I grazed a bit, then stood and took a snooze, knowing there would be no one to come and say come on, saddle time! Never ever again, I thought, never any more saddle time for me! I’ll get rid of this one somehow, and life will be sweet. To be sure there were no other horses around, but then I don't much care for other horses - there’s no other Arabs in my corral, only those silly cow-obsessed Quarter Horses, so I don't even have a special friend out there, and anyway, I like being alone. I have never been a horse for too much socializing.
    I had to be a bit careful because there were other humans around, camped here and there around the mountains. They were there to bang away at the deer - poor deer. They always have so much trouble this time of year and have to hide in the high canyons because of all this harassment the humans give them. I don’t see the point of it, why the humans would want to stay out at night and be cold and uncomfortable and walk for miles, just to bang away at anything that moves, but it made me realize I had to be careful in case they banged away at me. Anyway, that first night was pleasant.
    The next day I got a bit careless and stepped out into a clearing and there were a couple of those banging humans. “Look”, one of them said “a horse with a saddle on! There must have been some kind of a wreck! I’d better catch him”, and he stepped toward me. Ah, no, I thought! I didn't get all this way just for you to grab me, and I dodged away and ran off into the scrub and hid. After that I was careful not to be seen during the day, and I hoped all those banging humans would leave soon.
    But that morning, would you believe - because I thought it was all settled that I would stay there - my humans were back! They came with more humans, too. Comanche and Tequila came and Peanut, and that noisy green thing with four wheels that belongs to the barn boss, they call him Adam, and also the horse slave from the other place, Danny, came without a horse and walked the rough, high ground, and Peppy’s Monique walked with him - and would you believe, they all began looking for me again! I did have a laugh! I’m too smart to be caught like that!!! I sneaked away up the canyon and stayed very, very still. They beat the bushes, and rode and rode - I bet the other horses were getting a bit tired, although to watch Comanche cutting up you never would think so. He and Tequila neighed at each other every minute as if each was scared that the other one would dump his human and join me.
     The humans were happy they were neighing - they said it might bring me in, that I would neigh back and they could find me. They said they were afraid I was hurt - hung up on that saddle somewhere, unable to move. Especially Comanche’s human, she’s always so worried about us horses, she was in a proper lather! I felt a bit sorry for her, it was nice of her to worry so much but I wasn’t about to let them find me!!
    I drifted up higher into the canyon where the trees are thick. Several times they came quite close to me, I had to be very still. It wasn't easy, especially when I began hearing that banging from the humans out harassing the deer. Anyway, our humans rode up and down that canyon and the other pasture for about five hours - I bet those horses got a workout! Serve them right! They should have come with me - I told them it would be fun, but no, they had to go and get caught, slaves to their stomachs and their hay!
    I must admit that I began missing that hay, though. The grass was green in places, but in other places it was getting dry and not too tasty, but the freedom was worth it. I shucked around until the saddle began to slip a bit, but of course, I couldn’t undo all those straps that held it on. Still, it wasn't too bad, especially since my rider, Steve, had loosened those straps. Nice of him I thought. In a couple of days I’ll be able to get rid of it altogether.
    Anyway, after about five hours my humans loaded up the horses and left, and a bit later in the day all the other humans out there, those ones who were there with the banging sticks, loaded up also and left. There were only about five groups of them in a huge canyon, so they hadn’t bothered me too much, but I didn't like their banging sticks, and I didn’t like them - but, anyway, they went home. So now I had the place to myself. It was glorious!! I explored - I drifted up higher and higher into the canyon, underneath beautiful pine trees, where the breeze just sort of sighed through the branches. The grass was greener there, so I had a good dinner and then I thought I would go and lie down and have a snooze.
    But wait! ... I thought then. Wasn’t there something about some animals out here who weren’t too horse friendly? I remembered then that even on our mountains there were those big cats, I think they're called mountain lions, and there’s also bear. Then I remembered hearing, when I was a little colt, that those mountain lions especially like to eat horses. That wasn’t a nice thought at all. I thought perhaps I’d better not lie down and go to sleep after all. In the corrals there’s always at least one horse awake, keeping guard, but here I was all alone. I’d better keep guard myself. So I drifted down back off the high country, following the road we had ridden along a couple of days before. I figured that lower down there would be less chance of meeting some of these nasty animals. I spent a pleasant enough night though. Later on I went back to that water tank and had a good drink and got to snooze some in the corral that was around it, even though I found I couldn't lie down easily because of the saddle. Actually I wouldn’t have wanted to - the lions, remember? The gate was wide open - that made me feel good, because I could see I could just leave at any time I liked.
   Ha! I thought - really free at last! Just like those wild horses. I thought about the years stretching ahead of me pleasantly, just nothing but grazing and snoozing, grazing and snoozing ..... but what about the mountains lions? Could I snooze safely, with no other horses to keep watch? I decided to think about that later.
    But next morning, my humans were back! There was only two of them, no horses this time, just them. It was Comanche's human and the other one, Danny. They drove up and down the road, looking for hoof prints, and sure enough, they found a couple of mine, high up in the canyon where I had come down in the morning. Danny said it was fresh and that at least they knew I was alive and not hung up somewhere by that saddle.
   Hung up! That was a nasty thought that hadn’t occurred to me. I thought that over a bit and didn’t like it. Suppose, I thought, I did get hung up and then one of those mountain lions came and ate me? Or a bear? The more I thought about it, the less I began to think of this freedom after all. It was nice, no question - no humans, nobody to bother me..... but that also meant no special feed - and I was getting a bit sick of that dry grass, I must say ..... and no other horses meant nobody to warn me of any coming danger. Hmmm - this being free, I thought, has some drawbacks to it.
    I began considering what to do with that saddle. I wriggled and wriggled, and sure enough, it began to slip off my back, but bummer! it didn’t come off all the way it does when the humans take it off. It just sort of slipped down and hung under my belly, pad and all, This made it more difficult to get through the trees, and I realized also that if a mountain lion were to chase me, it would be that much harder for me run through the scrub. Again, not a nice thought. Also I was sorry I could never lie down to snooze - not that I really would, with those lions and bears all around me like that, fixing to eat me.
    This freedom began to lose some of its charm. I began thinking that my nice corral with all those other horses there, and the regular good feed wasn't so bad after all. But what to do now? It seemed they had all left and wouldn't be back. Perhaps they'd given me up! Maybe they wouldn't come back looking for me any more at all. I began to be quite worried. Also, I remembered from years past, that it was getting colder and so the grass would get drier and drier, and after all, I am used to better things to eat than old dried grass! 
    I began to think that maybe this escape wasn’t all that smart. This was my third night out. I drifted down to that water tank again. At least it had a corral and smelt of human presence. Maybe those lions and bears would smell that, and wouldn't come down there. I drank some water and guess what! I found some alfalfa hay flakes lying around the tank! How nice!! SO much tastier than that old grass, and nicer even than the grass hay! The flakes smelled a bit of Comanche‘ slave and Danny. That made me feel like home. I began eating them and thought about how good it would be to be home again getting regular meals and all that care.
    And I missed Dan, too. He was always so nice to me, rubbed my head and called me his little Buggsie. I realized I wanted to hear someone call me little Buggsie again. I didn’t really want to spend the rest of my life out here all by myself. It was a big canyon, kind of lonely. I began to think I had done a silly thing. But, I wondered, how to get back? There were lot of fences in the way and anyway, I’m no jumper - besides which, that saddle hanging underneath me sure got in the way.
    And I still couldn't lie down to rest - not that I would, what with the lions and all. I thought I could hear a noise in the bushes. I almost could see the lions sneaking up on me. I edged a bit deeper into the corral. Come to think of it, corrals are nice. They do keep you in, but they also keep other things out. I wished the gate was closed, but it wasn’t. Perhaps better - in case the lions jumped in over the top, at least I could run out. But how fast can I run with this saddle hanging off me like that? I began to worry quite a bit - the night seemed very long.
    The next day I stayed close to the corral. I drifted off into the brush near it, and ate some grass, but it didn't taste near as good as it had the first day. It was just a little bit drier, I suppose, and after that hay, it was kind of flat. So I went back to the corral and ate a bit more hay.
    In the afternoon I got a surprise, though. I heard the noise of a machine of some sort coming. I stood by the corral, actually wishing it was Adam on his green thing. But it wasn’t - it was a strange man with a girl. I heard them talking. “Look”, the man said, “there’s that horse! See if you can catch him!” The girl got off and slowly walked up to me, holding a halter. I was SO happy to see humans! I can’t even tell you. I knew they wouldn't let a lion get me, and maybe they had more hay. I was always hard to catch. Dan said I was a trial, even in the corral, but this time I couldn’t put my head into that halter fast enough! She was also a nice girl - I could see she understood horses. She was quick and gentle. She put the halter on and led me into the corral. Then the man came and took that bothersome saddle and blanket off, and rubbed my neck the way my Dan does, and gave me more hay. Then they closed the gate and left.
   I got stuck into that hay - and it wasn't long before I heard another noise coming. I looked up and couldn't believe my eyes! There was Adam and my Dan!! I was SO happy to see them! Dan came up to me and caught me and rubbed my face and neck and said all kinds of nice things, how he'd missed me and how he’d been worried about me, and I found I was so happy to see them both, I can't tell you! After some more nice things, Dan left but Adam stayed in a little house he had brought with him. I’d heard him and Dan talking - it appeared he had come to stay, hoping I would come to the water tank and he could catch me. Catch me! No catching needed - I was SO glad they had come.
   I was also glad he was going to stay with me - at least I didn't have to worry about the lions and bears any more. I realized I liked humans near me - they do take care of us horses! So I ate the hay, drank the water, and then laid down and thought what a silly idea this being free is! Nobody is really free, if you think about it - and there’s always a price to pay for any so-called freedom, and if it means being eaten by a lion, then I much prefer my nice corral and my friends near me.
   So that’s my story!!! Later in the day my Dan came back with the trailer thing, and we went home. I found I was s-o-o-o glad to see my corral and my friends - I’ll never leave again! You never know how good you have it until you lose it!

    So that’s all for now - this is Buggsie signing off for the horses of Grapevine! Hee Haw

(Return To Top)